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TOOF is "Foot" Spelled Backwards and What Were You Meant to Do?

My Grandpa Hanna was a first generation American and a huge dreamer. Even though he dropped out of school as a kid to help support his nine brothers and sisters, he was always talking about his ship coming in. While Grandpa was watching for one particular ship or another, Grandma Hanna worked as an office manager at Montgomery Wards. She supported the family while Grandpa tried out all sorts of ideas.

He sang in nightclubs for a time. He sold men's clothing.

There was the grocery store, which he fixed up and stocked with food. (Friends and family flocked to the store, and business would have been good—except for the fact that Grandpa didn't feel right about taking money from his friends and relatives...so he gave the food away.)

Not long after his grocery store folded, he began to design Formica tables. Formica, he said, was the material of the future. Wrought iron bases held the bright pink Formica slabs. Grandma didn't even remember those so I guess they must not have done very well.

Lots of people told him to go get a "real" job. But he had already had plenty of "real" jobs. He worked construction, sold auto parts, and even worked in radio and television. I think Grandpa just preferred trying to do things his way. That and the fact that he didn't have a mentor of any sort to help guide him.

At some point he and a buddy decided to bottle and market an athlete's foot remedy called "TOOF" which, they pointed out, is "foot" spelled backwards.

I hadn't actually thought of TOOF in years. One day Mom and Dad and I were in the car coming back from somewhere when Dad said, "My foot itches," and Mom replied, "Well, Larry, I think there's some TOOF in the cabinet." I love that my mom said that. She was being completely serious. Never mind that the bottle of TOOF in the cabinet is almost empty. Never mind that the concoction is very nearly thirty years old. Never mind that TOOF, a mixture of caustic acids and acetone suspended in alcohol, was a rather dangerous product even then. Now that all the alcohol has evaporated, well, would my dad even have a foot left?

Grandpa Hanna claimed it also cured ringworm and jungle rot. Considering how the product worked, I believe him. The white, plastic bottle stands about four inches tall. The directions on the back bear out TOOF's efficacy:

"Cleanse and thoroughly dry feet before applying TOOF. Spray TOOF freely on affected parts night and morning. After a few days, the destroyed skin will begin to peel off. Do not pick at the loose skin-allow nature to discard it. At this time, spray TOOF once daily for two or three days." Then in screaming capitals, "DO NOT APPLY ANYWHERE NEAR THE HEAD."

A little more perseverance on Grandpa's part, and maybe TOOF would be right next to the Band-Aids in medicine cabinets everywhere. But TOOF wasn't the answer.

After years and years of searching, he finally found his groove. He started his very own advertising agency, and did quite well until he died of lung cancer.

I admire that my grandpa was a dreamer who didn't let other people discourage him. Certainly, I am grateful to Grandma Hanna for being so supportive and understanding through what must've been some very hard times. Swimming in a sea of TOOF and pink Formica tables, Grandpa might have been tempted to give it all up and settle for something more stable. Instead, he never quit trying to find out what it was that he was meant to do. And neither should we.


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