Heath Sez: Make an Anti-request!
For years, thousands and thousands of us have been slave to the radio. Not because we love the format or because its songs entertain us, or its commercials inform us, oh no.
Think again.
We have been unwitting slaves in the sense that we are forced to listen to the same garbage that's been issuing forth from the airwaves into our cars, into the offices where we work, and into waiting rooms year after year.
We don't have to listen to this dreck anymore!
Years ago, the concept of listener requests was introduced to the pop radio format. If you had a favorite track that you wished to hear, you simply called up the deejay and let it be known that you wanted to hear your special song. Sometimes, your voice would even get broadcast over the air to the adoring public so that they too could know your wonderful taste in music and thank you for choosing such a lovely song. But what if you hate the song that someone else has forced you to listen to because of their foul taste and staggering indiscretion? Well, in better times you could just change the channel. Move that dial and be on your merry way!
Alas, this is easier said than done. The good ol' days are long gone. We now live in a time where radio seems to be losing ground to MTV and the Internet permanently. One would think that now more than ever they would be trying new things with their programming in order to please more people; perhaps, for example, they might try playing a wider variety of music.
This, however, is not the case.
Most radio stations in North America and beyond are owned by a fistful of corporate entities who are only interested in the advertising content and how the programming reflects the desires of the advertisers. That is why, no matter where on the dial you go, you can expect to find the exact same programming. Be it the good ole classic rock station, the soft rock favorite networks, the "good times, great oldies" revival channels or the ever-so-popular, modern rock format stations. We all know it's true. We've heard it a thousand times.
For the most part, radio sucks.
So make a request!
I don't know about you, but I own a lot of music. Strangely enough, most of it is not stuff that I have the pleasure of hearing on the radio. As a matter of fact, I am willing to wager that most radio stations, even the "modern" stations, do not even have some of my favorite CDs released in the past few years in their vast libraries. It's a pretty safe assumption that a request made by me is pretty much not going to happen. Unfortunately, I am still without a CD player in my car, my dentist likes the radio for its random mix of yesterdays favorites and today's hits, etcetera. Some of you poor people are stuck listening to one station at work because one person controls the knob. You know, the guy that's been there for a year so he is the official in-house DJ, or the gal that just can't get enough Enrique Iglesias or the Dixie Chicks who just also happens to be the person who signs your paychecks.
So, what do you do?
Make an anti-request.
Seems simple enough right? If you are forced to listen to any radio station long enough, you already know the digits to get on the "request line." It shouldn't be hard to figure out since most radio stations signal number is somehow incorporated into their telephone number. Get on the horn with 'em! Don't delay! Are you goddamned tired of hearing that new Dave Matthews track? Who the in hell actually listens to N*Sync besides the people on the playground at Burger King? Is Smash Mouth making you want to smash in your head? Three Doors Down? That's waaaaay too close. Is Creed making you pray for a swift way out of this life? Is Britney making you want to spear your inner ear?
MAKE AN ANTI-REQUEST.
Call the radio station. Request that sometime in the next hour that they do NOT play THAT song. Because, as we all know, the songs you REALLY don't want to hear are played at least once an hour. That's it. You are done! Why shouldn't they honor your request? Its not like they don't have your song! Be sure to keep at it though, because in a few hours there will be a new deejay in there and he will sure as heck want to play that smash single that's "blazing up the charts." You know, the kind of drivel that's making all the girls under 20 in this country line up in Times Square to catch a glimpse of Carson Daly. The same crowd that wets themselves over the idea of seeing Fred Durst or Eminem for a split second, three stories up in a glass tower. You know why, right?
"Ohmigawd! He's sooooooooo CUTE!"
What else can you do? What should you do?
MAKE AN ANTI-REQUEST!
Spread the word. Call more radio stations. Get your friends and co-workers to do the same. We don't have to listen to the same wretched programming hour after hour, day after day, year after year! If the deejays refuse you, tell them that their arch-rival station stopped playing THAT song and you will listen to that station instead, thank-you-very-much! Try to get your voice on air! If people making requests for Matchbox 20 can get on air, so can you! That is the best way to get the message across to everyone, even the people who like the music you hate. Hell, maybe it'll even tell the people MAKING the music you hate something! We don't have to listen to it. Soon they'll be turning on each other! Limp Bizkit vs. Backstreet Boys in a battle to the death! Whoever is left standing gets a gold record and a bullet in the brain stem! How sweet it could be...
special thanks to nick...